The Masked Toilet Incident
by Lurking Pheonix
Summary: Italy goes to the restroom and gets attacked by a toilet wearing a mask! After telling the others and being humiliated, one country decides to investigate: then that nation goes missing! Now, the countries must find the missing nation by tomorrow morning before their bosses find out, or else it will be intereperted as a country takeover. Productive meetings makes bad stuff happen.
1. A Toilet's Fury

**I don't own Mucha Lucha or Hetalia. I only own my OC Atlantis. **

**You do not need to have watched Mucha Lucha to understand this fic.**

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The countries are gathered in a meeting room around a long, oval table. England and France are strangling and cursing each other. America boasts about his plan to solve global warming using a giant super hero to Japan, who just nods and agree. Italy happily eats his pasta in peace. Russia does his 'kolkolkols' as he glares at America. Atlantis is arguing with Prussia over his 'so called awesomeness.' Spain tries to give Romano a plate of churros but is unsuccessful. Romano continues munching on his tomato and glares at the 'potato bastard.' Germany stands at the head of the table. Switzerland carefully polishes his Peace Prize. Poland engrosses himself in his fashion magazine.

"Everyone shut up and take your seats so we can get this meeting started!" yells Germany as he slams his hands on the table. The meeting room becomes silent. The countries, who were standing, grumbles and takes their seats. "Now, we are meeting here today to finish last weeks remaining presentations because someone's boss complained about our…..lack of progress."

All the countries look in Atlantis' direction. She receives glares and looks of irritation. Prussia coughs 'snitch' loudly. The Atlantean holds her hands up in defense. She gives a slight eye roll and an exasperated sigh. "Look, I have to give detailed reports to my boss. He loathes slow progress." Atlantis looks to Germany and signals him to continue. Germany nods and regains control.

"As I was saying, at the end of the meeting we need to submit reports on our productivity of the presentations to our bosses." Germany says with a stern voice. Protests start flying at this demand. Romano abruptly stands up and challenges Germany. "Why the hell should we do extra work because some bastard whined about the meeting's progress!?" Shouts of agreement follow Romano's statement. Atlantis darkly glares at Romano. She snaps her pencil in half. She looks about ready to make a smart alack remark.

Germany doesn't back down from Romano's challenge. He keeps his composure and holds his ground. "Atlantis' boss brought up a good point. Some of your countries' bosses are facing major public scrutiny for lacking progress in multiple projects. So I suggest taking responsibility, sitting down, and get ready to present." They both hold eye contact before Romano looks away. Romano gives one last glare and sits down. He crosses his arms and huffs. Looks of guilt are shared throughout the room. An awkward silence falls in the room.

Germany coughs into his hand to get everyone's attention. "We are presenting in reverse alphabetical order this time instead of raising hands." Groans are heard as well as cheers. Germany turns his attention to the projector and laptop behind him. He clicks on the laptop and pulls up a list on the projector. "Now, here's the list."

_Switzerland_

_Spain_

_Russia_

_Romano_

_Poland_

_Japan_

_Italy_

_Germany_

_France_

_England_

_Atlantis _

_America_

When everyone absorbs the information, Germany speaks up again. "You'll have ten minutes to present. No exceptions. No chit-chatting and fights. Switzerland will present first." Prussia sulks for not being on the list. Germany lowers his face. "Remember, there will be _dire_ consequences for all of us if we don't get all the presentations done today." The countries shiver and pale at this statement.

Switzerland stands and walks behind the projector. As Switzerland monologues about his strict gun laws, Italy feels a strong urge to go to the bathroom.

The Italian crosses his legs and scrunches his face. He attempts to distract himself with his pasta, but it fails. He tries desperately to hold it in. Really, he did! He really needs to go badly. Italy didn't want to anger Germany because of that long speech he made: especially the consequences part. He didn't want to find out what his boss would do to him for not presenting. This is not something that can wait until break time.

Italy raises his hand and rapidly waves it back and forth. He interrupts Switzerland's speech and squeals, "Ve Germany! I really, really need to go to the bathroom!" Switzerland glares and his hand lingers to his pocket. Italy pales, thinking Switzerland will pull out his gun and shoot him. Germany sighs in exasperation and rubs his face. "Do you need to go that badly, Italy?"

Italy brightens. "Yes! Very badly, ve!" Germany waves his hand towards the door. "You have five minutes, make it quick." Italy jumps up and salutes Germany. "I will, ve!" He dashes out of the room.

Italy runs into the men's restroom. The restroom looks a little filthy and grimy from neglect. The urinals seem too gross to use. There was some writing on the walls and restroom stalls. The Italian walks into the nearest stall and locks it behind him. Italy unzips his pants and turns his attention to the toilet.

The toilet looks very strange to him. A red and green mask with an angry frown covers the toilet lid. Italy tilts his head in confusion. He wonders who would put a mask on a toilet. He thinks someone thought that the toilet felt cold. He smiles at this idea. He reaches his hand for the toilet seat when, suddenly, he hears a growl.

Italy shakes and looks around for the source of the growl. He pulls out his trusty white flag just in case. He tightens his grip on the flag's pole when he sees the toilet's mask changes facial expressions. It looks very scary and mean to him!

The toilet's lid opens by itself and emits a very loud growl. Italy wails and rapidly waves his white flag. "Please don't hurt me! I have relatives in wherever toilets come from!" The sinister toilet unleashes a violent rush of toilet water at him. Italy shrieks as he slams harshly against the stall's door. He falls to his knees and sputters.

The toilet takes a small step towards, as if taunting him. Italy screams and hastily smashes against the stall's door again. He fumbles with the lock and escapes. He smacks the door open and cries as he runs like a true Italian down the hall. The Italian wants to see Germany and his friends again.

"Germany! Germany! Save me," cries Italy. He barges into the meeting room soaking wet and clings to Germany for protection. He shakes while he grips him with all his might. He soaks Germany with his still wet uniform. Germany will scare the toilet away, he just knows it.

Spain, who was almost done with his presentation, looks a little startled at Italy's appearance.

Germany looks at Italy a little peeved. "Italy, what happened this time? Did someone try to kidnap you again?" Italy shakes his head no. "Then what is it?"

Italy stops his whimpering and removes his head from Germany's shoulder. The frightening experience with that scary toilet still torments his mind. "I-It w-was a to-oliet with a sc-cary mask, ve. It tried to kill me." It's silent for a moment. Then, the room erupts with laughter. Russia chuckles at Italy's misfortune.

Prussia climbs the table and grabs a churro from Spain's plate. The Prussian gives Italy a mischievous grin. He points his churro in the direction of Italy and harshly wiggles it. "Ooooh, did the toilet seat slam on your wiener, again?" The churro snaps in half and hits Italy. Prussia gave his infamous kesesese laugh. The countries laugh even louder. Germany scolds Prussia and pulls him aside for a lecture.

Italy's eyes fill with tears. He whimpers at Prussia's meanness. Spain pulls Italy into a hug and tries to comfort him. Romano runs to Italy's side for support. America joins in on the fun. "Did you fall inside the toilet, too? You look soaked, dude!" America's booming laughs echos in the room. Atlantis lightly smacks America upside the head. She gives him a glare too. America whines regarding her 'cruelty.'

France uses this opportunity to try to touch England. England shoves France from him. "Keep your hands to yourself you bloody frog!" France and England engage in a shouting match.

"Toilets wearing masks? That's, like, almost as ridicules as Americans dressing up their dogs," remarks Poland. America gets in Poland's face. "Don't you dare mock my citizens' fashion sense. Americans have way better fashion sense than the Polish." Both of them engage in a glaring match. Russia watches their arguing with interest and chuckles his 'kolkolklols.'

"Poland is right, da. Americans have no fashion sense." Hearing this, America sharply turns his attention to Russia. "Ya got something to say to my face commie?"

Russia childishly smiles. "Da. Americans have no fashion sense. Do Americans have bad hearing too?" America becomes enraged.

During all this, Switzerland continues to calmly polish his Peace Prize.

Romano harshly whispers into Italy's ear, "Look fratello, it's okay if you fell into the toilet. Sit down now, you're embarrassing yourself." Italy frowns from his own brother's lack of support. Japan, who is sitting near Italy, looks Italy in the eyes. "Italy-san, it's not honorable to lie. You should go sit down now."

No one believes him. Italy slumps further and cries harder. He feels a hand on his shoulder. He looks up and sees Atlantis. She moves her hand from his shoulder and awkwardly ruffles his hair.

"I'll go talk to this…...mean toilet, okay Italy?" She gives a soft smile. Italy looks at her with shock.

England gives France a final shove and he tumbles to the ground. France grumbles about England's rudeness. England looks at Atlantis scandalized. "You can't go into the men's loo, love."

Atlantis shrugs off his comment. "This is a private meeting. There are no maids or workers in this entire building. Besides, all the men are in this room." Italy recovers from his shock and strikes. Atlantis makes a move towards the door until Italy tackle-glomps her from behind. She nearly falls from the impact. Italy clings around her waist. He buries his face into her back.

Italy snivels. He doesn't want the mean toilet to attack the nice, pretty lady too! He begs the Atlantean to stay in the room. His tears stain her white and gold robe. Atlantis blushes badly from his grip. She grabs his fingers and tries to pry him off. "P-please let go I-Italy. I w-will not take long."

Spain and Germany help Atlantis pry Italy off of her. Germany scolds him, "Italy, you do not touch a woman like that!" Germany keeps a firm grip on Italy's stomach.

France gives a perverted smirk. "Ohonhonhon.~ Germany is right about woman for once. You grab-" England interrupts him with a punch. A flustered England yells at France. "You perverted and bloody frog!"

Spain places a hand on Atlantis' shoulder. "You don't have to do this. Italy is just overreacting." Atlantis removes his hand. She smiles. "I want to do this, Spain. It'll make Italy feel better." She turns to Italy with a small blush on her face. She leans next to his ear and whispers, "Your zipper is undone." Italy becomes very embarrassed and quickly zips up his zipper. A lady saw his zipper down! By the time he looks up, he manages to catch one last glance of Atlantis leaving the room.

Germany yells at everyone to take a seat. "Russia, it's your turn to present now." Russia nods and moves to the laptop. Italy zones out Russia's presentation. He's really worried about Atlantis. He really hopes she's okay in there. He plays with his fingers and wonders what's taking her so long. Russia is already presenting!

Suddenly, a blood curdling scream echoes outside the meeting room.

"GET BACK YOU FREAK OF NATURE!"

Loud thuds tune out her screams. Italy feels his fear has come true; the scary toilet got Atlantis.

The room fell into silence for a few moments. The nations are wearing varying looks of shock and surprise. America is the first to react. "Atlantis!" America pulls out his hand gun and sprints out of the room and down the hall towards the screams. Japan brings out his katana as he follows America. Switzerland tags along with his shot gun. England pulls out his spell book and hollers, "You need backup, you bloody git!" Spain, Prussia, France, Germany, and Russia, with his pipe, exit the room as well.

The only countries remaining are Poland, Romano, and himself. Romano grabs his wrist. "Come on fratello, let's go." He shakes his head no. He doesn't want to see the scary toilet again. Romano narrows his eyes. "Don't you want to find out what happened?" Romano turns to look at Poland.

Poland holds up his hands. "I like don't want to get my hands dirty. I'll, like, wait right here in case she, like, comes back." He pulls out a sheet of paper and starts drawing on it.

Romano pulls him out of the meeting and into the hall. As they run down the hall to their destination Italy wonders if Atlantis is okay. He wished he had been more convincing on making Atlantis stay, than this wouldn't have happened to her. But he knew deep inside she would have gone anyway.

_Hopefully the other countries will be able to make it in time and save her from the evil toilet, ve._

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*gasp* What happened to Atlantis in the mens restroom!? Only time will tell. Please fav and review. Each review smacks an evil masked toilet. :D


	2. The Crime Scene

**I don't own Hetalia or Mucha Lucha. I only own Atlantis and King Cyril.**

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Romano and Italy burst through the door and he takes in the scene. The countries are huddled in a group near the door. America and England are in the front. America is looking at the scene with worry in his eyes. England is on his knees picking up some ice shards off the ground. Japan is in a stance, prepared in case of a sudden attack. Russia's dark, purple aura is out as he fingers his pipe. The other countries are still in shock at the chaotic scene.

There are several dents in the walls. Smelly toilet water is spilled all over the floor. A mirror is cracked and the pieces are underneath the sink. Atlantis' golden crown lay on its side half way across the restroom. Hundreds of ice shards are scattered in the area in front of the toilet stall nearest to the door. Italy shudders, remembering that stall is where he first encountered the toilet. England stands up from his place. America looks at him with a questioning glance, he asks, "Well, what happened Iggy?" The Englishman dusts himself and everyone in the room puts their full attention on him. England narrows his eyes and glares at the American. He seems to decide to drop it (for only this time) and puts his attention on the crime scene again.

England puts his detective skills to the test. He gestures towards the water. "Judging by the angles of the water, Atlantis was standing right….here." England takes a step in a small circle of dry tiles facing the first stall with his back against the urinal nearly touching him. He continues on with his analysis. "She was attacked with what appears to be a hose in three different directions, the front, left, and right." Italy looks more closely at the water. Paying closer attention, he notices that there's three different paths of water aiming for the circle.

Switzerland narrows his eyes "Who carries three hoses into a restroom? And why didn't she notice the man standing next to the stall?" He points to the empty area next to the stall. "She should have seen him standing there."

England sighs in irritation. "I'm not sure. It's the only logical explanation. Squirt guns would not have enough force and water to create this trail."

England steps away from the dry spot and scratches his chin in thought. "He could have been standing behind the door when she entered."

England continues with his lecture and points towards the stall. "It's very likely she was first attacked by someone in this stall before being ambushed by two others on both sides." Italy freezes. The possibility of the toilet having more friends scares him. "Atlantis seemed to have had an object to block all three directions. This spot looks completely dry." The former pirate walks back to the circle and taps his foot in the small, dry area.

Japan takes a step forward. "What about the ice, England-san?" England frowns for a moment. He looks at the ice shard in his hand. "I'm not sure. I find it a tad strange for ice to be lying around here." Italy walks over to the fallen crown and picks it up. He glances at it sadly as he recalls Atlantis wearing it before she left the meeting room. He knows she treasures this crown. She would never leave it behind. He keeps a firm grip on it. He'll return it to her when they find her.

Spain perks up. "I say we find the señorita right now!" Some of the countries agree to his statement. Prussia shakes his head. "How do we know if she's still in the building now? She's a country; she'll be able to escape herself." America's face fills with anger. He gets in Prussia's face.

"The first two hours is the most crucial in kidnapping cases." America looks about ready to punch Prussia in the face until France speaks up.

"Amerique is right for once. We need to rescue Atlantis right now." Almost everyone in the restroom gapes at him. He looks so serious right now! France continues on. "Atlantis' boss is a very…..paranoid man."

France rubs his chin in thought. "I recently met him last week..."

_Atlantis is coming over to his home to finish their trade agreement. France prepares a cake for the both of them to enjoy. As he finishes putting the last touches for their 'romantic dinner', the doorbell rings. He quickly places the eating utensils and goes to the door. _

_He opens the door and sees Atlantis and her elderly boss standing there. He raises a brow at her boss' presence. She looks embarrassed and gives a sheepish smile. _

_Her boss narrows his eyes. "Are you not going to invite your guests in? What a rude host." France keeps his composure at his rude comment. Atlantis lightly hisses and nudges her boss. "King Cyril, you're the rude one."_

_The king huffs and gives France the let-us-in-already-you-horrible-host look. France's right eye twitches and he invites them inside. King Cyril regally walks in with his staff. Atlantis gives a slight bow. "I apologize, France. My boss has been acting strangely lately. He forced me to bring him along." She whispers so King Cyril can't hear them. _

_France smiles and pulls her into a hug. "It's okay Atlantis, I know how some bosses are." Atlantis blushes in embarrassment. She tries to squirm from his tight grip. _

"_A-HA! I KNEW IT!" _

_France and Atlantis jump at King Cyril's loud voice. Atlantis stutters. "L-Look I can explain-" The elder interrupts and rapidly converses with her in Atlantean. She boils in anger and wags her finger at him. He screams back. _

_France, seeing the argument escalating, pulls them apart. "Let's stop arguing and eat the delicious dinner I made. _

_They drop the argument and follow him to the dining room._

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_They are sitting around a round table ready for desert. The trade agreement hasn't been going well. Whenever he and Atlantis tried to wrap it up, King Cyril would interrupt saying he didn't like it. _

_France wants to use the cake to distract King Cyril long enough to quickly finish the trade agreement. He had noticed that he was eyeing the cake the entire time. France grabs the long knife next to the cake and as he's about to slice the cake, he sees King Cyril watching in suspense. _

_Suddenly, King Cyril screams out, "Atlantis, kill him! He's trying to assassinate me!"Atlantis slams her hands on the table. "For the last time, he's not trying to kill you!" _

"_I'm too late! The pervert already seduced you!"_

"_He did not!"_

"_Don't listen to his smooth words! He's trying to kill you too!" _

"_No he's not!" _

France finishes retelling his experience with King Cyril. All the countries were still trying to grasp the king's strange actions. "Atlantis told me afterwards King Cyril wanted to tag along because he thought I was trying to seduce and kill her to steal all her country's resources. Especially the gold." France rubs his fingers over his chin. He adds in an after thought. "She also told me she had to eat the food first because he thought I poisoned it."

Romano was the first to react. "Crazy bastard." Hums of agreement resonate throughout the restroom.

"Judging by the king's reactions, he would jump to the conclusion we all killed Atlantis….." Calmly replies Russia. Japan continues the statement. "And we are after her country's resources." A heavy silence plagues them.

Prussia waves off their thoughts. "What's that old coot gonna do? It's not like anyone will believe his conspiracy theories."

"They're right, brother. It'll become an international incident with our bosses. Our bosses would fear the possibility that people can overcome countries," says Germany. "Besides, even though she's last, we need her to finish her presentation."

Japan catches everyones attention. "We have until tommorrow morning to locate her." The countries stare at him. "Our bosses expect us to finish today and leave for home tomorrow morning."

Germany adds his input. He looks at his watch. "It's seven-fifty right now. We have 12 hours to find Atlantis before our bosses become suspicious."

Spain smiles. He stops chewing on his churro. "That's plenty of time. We'll be able to find her quickly. The kidnappers couldn't have gotten far." Mummers of agreement fill the room.

Italy gathers his voice and speaks up. "The scary toilet got her Germany!" Germany face palms and sighs. "Italy! Now is not the time for-"

Suddenly, a scream and trashing from down the hallway pierces the silence.

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**Oh no! Who's the one who screamed this time? Find out in the next chapter of The Masked Toilet Incident.**


	3. The Battle for Poland

**Now here's chapter three. :D Please fav and review.**

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The countries in the bathroom quickly scramble into action. They storm into the long hallway and follow the screaming. Romano drags Italy along as they run.

Romano glares at him. "Run faster fratello, I want to see the stupido criminal caught in the act." Italy whimpers. He didn't want to see anymore scary toilets, but no one believes him.

America, who is leading the 'charge,' shouts, "Hurry up dudes, I think the screaming is coming from the meeting room." England screams, "We're running as fast as we can, you git!"

Germany runs ahead of the group and makes it to the end of the hallway. He makes it to the meeting room's oak doors and kicks in the door. The screams sound louder than before. He stays standing at the door.

The group quickly catches up with him. Prussia grabs Germany's shoulder. "West, why are you just stand-" Prussia stares into the room in shock. France wraps his arms around their shoulders. "Mon amis, why are you blocking the door?"

Italy peeks over all of their shoulders and whips out his flag. "Please don't kill me! I'm a virgin. You wouldn't kill a virgin, would you?"

Inside the room, it looks like a hurricane tore through the room. The table is destroyed and what is left of the chairs was thrown all over the room. The flags on the walls are in tatters. Spain's flag is in the worst shape. It is soggy and has graffiti on it.

In the corner of the room are four aggressive toilets and a urinal. Only one toilet is wearing a red and green mask. One of the toilets was giving Poland a Swirly while another one had Poland's feet under its lid.

Poland cries and flaps his arms, "Is that, like, you guys? Like save me from these evil toilets!"

His cry snaps the men into action. Germany, Prussia, and France clear the doorway for the other countries to get inside. America barges in, hand gun ready to fire. Three toilets stand in a horizontal line and blasts the American with toilet water.

America's eyes widen as he ducks to the floor. "Duck!" Sadly, it left Spain, who is behind America, to get hit with the blasts. He gets a direct hit and stumbles to ground. His back hits the ground and he groans in pain.

The toilets holding Poland haughtily walks towards the bookcase behind them. The toilet holding Poland's head slams its lid on his head. Poland body slumps into unconsciousness.

Germany grips his whip on his side. "Prussia, let's save Poland." Prussia and Germany charge towards the toilets holding Poland hostage when, all of a sudden, they're hit with a large array of toilet plungers and other cleaning products. Prussia is pushed into his brother and they fall onto the ground in an undignified heap.

Switzerland fires his shotgun at the toilet on the left. The bullet harmlessly bounces off of it. The toilet lifts its lid up and down, mocking him. Switzerland angrily fires more rounds but it doesn't seem to be doing any damage. He growls in frustration. "My bullet's aren't doing anything!"

Russia pulls out his pipe. "Japan, team up with me da?" Japan nods in agreement.

Russia and Japan team up to take the masked toilet head on. Both toilets gushes gallons at water at the duo. Russia is slowed down by the water, but he fights against the current. His scary aura appears and he starts whispering his 'kolkolkols."

Japan leaps over the blasts with grace. He brings his sword down on the toilet wearing the mask. The masked toilet simply upchucked large soap bars at his face and legs. Japan goes flying onto the table scaps.

England does battle with the urinal. He blasts it with a lightning spell, sending it flying into the wall next to the bookcase.

The masked toilet tosses a white ball in front of the countries and it explodes into a huge bubbly mess.

The tall urinal uses the last of its energy to help the two toilets with reaching over and pressing a hidden button. The bookcase opens a hidden passageway. The toilet holding Poland's legs kicks the urinal into the passageway. The hidden entrance closes silently when all the toilets escape through it.

The countries try to regroup from the bubble blast.

France yells, "If you're alive, say I!" A bunch of "I" is mumbled throughout the room. The room clears up and reveals the countries trying to help the others to their feet.

Romano bends down to aid Spain but refuses to help him up. Romano scrunches his nose in disgust. "You smell terrible, tomato bastard."

One of the toilets had hosed Spain with disgustingly brown water. Spain gives a weak smile. "You think so, my little tomato?" Romano fumes. "Don't call me that, tomato bastard!"

America leans over the table scrap and helps Japan to his feet. "Are you okay Japan?" Japan lets go of America's hand and says, "Hai, America-san."

England yells at France. "Why didn't you help fight, frog!" France flips his hair. "I didn't want to ruin my hair, of course." England lunges and holds him in a choke hold.

"We needed all the help we could get you bloody frog!"

Italy puts away his flag and spots a torn slip of paper near a table leg. He picks it up and stares sadly at it. It was a drawing of a woman wearing the latest polish fashion.

_"This must have been the drawing Poland was working on when we left to rescue Atlantis, ve."_

Germany screams, "Everyone shut up, we're going to hold an emergency meeting now and everyone needs to pay attention."

Italy lets the paper flutter to the ground. He joins the other countries forming a circle since there are no usable chairs at the moment.

_"First Atlantis, and now Poland, ve. Who knows what those scary toilets are going to do next."_

**Sorry for the late update. School came up and I was too busy on my other story Adapting to Modern Times.**


	4. The Plan and Team Names

**I feel so bad neglecting to update this fic. I set aside some of my free time to work on this chapter.**

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When the nations finally quiet down, Germany speaks. "As you all know, we've been attacked by…..toilets."

France exclaims, "Did you see what those toilets did to Poland? Those freaks gave him a swirly and kidnapped him at the same time! They're plain cruel."

Romano shouts, "How the hell can toilets move like that! It must be animatronics crap." Some murmurs of agreement fill the room. Italy is not too sure about that. He doesn't voice his objection, though. Romano would yell at him for sure if he did.

America stutters, "T-The toilets are haunted by ghosts! This building must have been built on an ancient Native-American burial ground and they're trying to kill us in revenge." Italy shivers. That made more sense. The scary ghosts must be angry at them for trespassing on their graves.

England rubs his chin. "The aggressive toilets would explain the water on the floor. Using hoses in a restroom doesn't make much sense."

France adds in his thoughts. "Atlantis was ambushed by toilets when she went to find out what made Italy so scared." Italy feels guilty all over again. If only he hadn't cried about his ordeal. Then Atlantis wouldn't have been kidnapped by evil toilets.

America yells at England, "Dude, this is all your fault. If you weren't into your creepy voodoo magic, Poland and Atlantis would still be here. You pissed off the evil spirits."

England snaps. "It's black magic, you idiot! No one believes in my magic, yet whenever something magical happens, it's automatically my fault!"

Germany screams, "Everyone shut up! We'll get to the bottom of this. We don't have time to waste. We have to find the missing countries before our bosses find out." Germany turns to him. "Italy, you mentioned after you returned to the presentations you were attacked by toilets."

Italy rapidly nods. "Si. But I was only attacked by the toilet wearing the mask."

Switzerland adds in, "Should we consider the masked toilet as being the ringleader? None of the other toilets are wearing anything to seperate them from other regular toilets."

Russia smoothes out the bumps on his pipe, lovingly. "Da, it could be possible."

Japan glances at his watch. "It's nine-twenty. I recommend we start the search now."

Prussia does a fist pump into the air. "Hell yeah! Let's rescue fashion freak and Sea cow."

England rubs his face in irritation. "Do you seriously still call Atlantis that horrid nickname, Prussia?"

Prussia grins. "Yeah, she's a cow who lives under the sea~" It's a logical explanation to Prussia, but to Italy and the other countries, it doesn't make sense at all. Italy is surprised no one is arguing about Prussia calling Poland a fashion freak. But then again, it is kinda true.

"_Everyone agrees on something, ve. That's a start. Even though calling him a fashion freak is mean."  
_

Germany holds up his hand. "Okay, we're going to be split up into three groups; two groups of four and one group of three. We need to explore the entire building quickly to find them. Staying in one huge group will take more time than in smaller groups."

The German continues. "It is vital we do not stray from our assigned group. There is power in numbers." Italy hopes he gets to be in a group with Germany. He feels safer with the strong German around.

Germany points at Spain. "The first group is Spain, France, Switzerland, and Romano."

Romano protests "I don't want to be with tomato bastard." Spain glomps the Italian. "Don't worry my little tomato. I'll make sure nothing harms you." Romano screams for Spain to get off of him, but the Spaniard refuses to.

Switzerland just casually cleans his shot gun, glaring at France, as if he's daring him to try anything.

Germany assigns the second group. "The second group is Russia, America, and Japan."

America grins as he wraps an arm around Japan. "Isn't it great, Japan, my sidekick? I'm going to save the damsels in distress." Japan looks uncomfortable with America in his personal space. He moves away from America's grip. "H-Hai."

Russia looks dissatisfied with his group. "Are all groups final?" Germany nods. His smile falters for a bit, but it quickly comes back. "Don't slow me down American pig."

America glares. "I wouldn't dream of it, commie bastard."

Germany announces the last group. "The last group is Italy, Prussia, England, and myself." Italy cheers as he hugs Germany. He's so happy he gets to be in a group with him. He doesn't have to be stuck with creepy Russia or anyone else.

"Ve~ Let's stick together Germany." The German sighs in frustration.

Prussia perks up. "Oooh, we should have team names! We're Team Awesome."

"Boodly hell no. Team Flying Mint Bunny is our name."

"Ve~ Can we be Team Pasta Germany?"

America whines, "No fair. I want a team name too. We'll be Team Avengers."

Russia says, "I refuse to be a part of any American hero team."

Spain pulls a tomato out of nowhere. "We'll be Team Tomato."

"Non, Team Sexy Men."

Germany screams, "Everyone shut up and agree on your childish team names already!"

After hush discussions in the groups, they (finally) agreed on team names.

Romano's group's name is Team Sexy Tomatoes. It took a bribe of a hundred tomatoes to convince Romano to agree. As for Switzerland, he didn't give a damn. The Swiss said he just wanted to shoot the toilets.

The second group agreed on Team Koi Fish. Russia and America had refused to go by any team names the other suggested. Japan had to come up with a name himself to get them to agree. He admitted he picked the first word that came to mind, besides anime.

The last team name is Team Awesome Flying Pasta. Prussia wanted the team name to have awesome in it, Italy wanted pasta to be included, and England demanded to have his 'imaginary' friend Flying Mint Bunny as the team name. Germany settled their arguing with one word from each country's idea to the name. (Much to England's disappointment.)

Italy likes the name. (Even though it sounds strange.) But it's the thought that counts.

Germany brings the attention back to him. "Does everyone have their cell phones?" Everyone says yes. "Good. We'll communicate the clues and missing countries we find."

Germany gestures Team Awesome Flying Pasta to follow him. "It's time to split up. Our search starts now." Italy happily follows Germany like a loyal dog. The Italian hopes they can find Poland and Atlantis on time. He doesn't want Atlantis' crazy boss to get him in trouble.

* * *

**You're probably wondering why I have Italy, Romano, and Japan in the characters section. No, I didn't put it there so people's search results will bring up this fic. The real reason is that I will make chapters switching between each group. I want to give each Hetalian some screen time.**

**The point of view of each group will be mainly Italy, Romano, and Japan. The point of view may change from the character section for certain reasons. **

**In case you guys want to look back and remember who's on whose team:**

**Team Sexy Tomatoes: Romano, Spain, France, and Switzerland.**

**Team Koi Fish: Russia, America, and Japan.**

**Team Awesome Flying Pasta: Germany, Italy, Prussia, and England.**

**Which team is your favorite? :D**

**There is a purpose for choosing which countries makes it in this fic and placing these countries into certain groups. I didn't pick a bunch of countries and shove them into this fic. **


	5. King Prussia and the Toilet Salesman

**I don't own Hetalia or Mucha Lucha**

**Team Awesome Flying Pasta**

* * *

The group lingers outside the elevator in front of the meeting room, unsure of where to start their search for clues. Italy really wants to go home and make pasta, but then he'll feel guilty for leaving the search party.

Prussia yawns. "What are we going to do, Team Awesome Flying Pasta? I don't want to stand here all day." The Prussian puts up his fists. "I want a rematch with those toilets."

England's eyebrows twitch. "I still think we should change our name to Team Flying Mint Bunny."

Italy smiles. "Are we voting again? I vote for team pasta."

Germany nearly snaps. "It's just a team name. Get over it already." Italy's hand lingers over his pocket, ready to take out his white flag if he needs it. In case Germany's anger turns on him.

Germany sighs and asks, "England, did you sense any magical properties from the toilets?"

England scowls. "Is that why you wanted me in your group? So you can interrogate me further?"

"No, I'm not blaming you for this mess. I thought you would have been able to track them down easier."

Italy shudders. "_If the toilets are not magical, does it mean they're…alive?" _He wishes Romano's theory of the toilets being animatronics is true. Miserably, he knows it's not possible. The Italian has seen animatronics at Disneyland rides. Yes, they can move. Although not with the speed the toilets have shown.

Italy clenches his fist and flinches. "Ouch." Italy looks at his hand to see Atlantis' golden crown still in his hand. He looks at it with amazement. During all the commotion, he managed not to have dropped it. He slides his fingers over the tiny sapphires along the golden vines. His fingers pause at the tear-drop shaped ruby in the center of the crown.

A brief memory of Atlantis always carefully polishing this very crown during meetings saddens Italy. He remembers how fond and overprotective she is of her crown. She probably misses it right now.

England looks in deep thought. "We should return to the crime scene and see if there are any overlooked clues. It'll give us an idea on what to do next."

Germany nods, "I agree. Let's go back to the men's restroom."

Suddenly, Italy feels someone snatch Atlantis' crown from his hand. He cries when he sees Prussia grinning as he analyzes the crown. Prussia laughs as he eyes the golden crown. "Hey, this is Sea cow's crown, isn't it? She broke a table because I accidently knocked it off her head during that one fight at the meeting."

Atlantis is nice to Italy. Yes, she's a little scary when she glares, but Germany does it too.

Italy had never heard Atlantis curse (or lose her composure) before that incident. _Ever_. It's like a taboo for her to do that. She's usually cool-headed and says witty remarks. She would never curse at anyone, no matter how angry she was at someone.

Italy shivers at that memory. Italy thought he would never see the day Atlantis would get violent. She punched the table and left a hole in it!

Russia's scarf, the erogenous zones, Austria's piano, Germany's special books, England's scones, and now Atlantis' crown are off-limits unless someone wants bad stuff to happen to them.

Italy reaches for the crown and misses. Prussia takes a step back and places Atlantis' crown on his head. Prussia strikes a regal pose. "Kesesese~ You can't touch me. I'm King Prussia! Kneel before my awesomeness."

England attempts to snatch the crown as well. "Hand it over, you git! It's probably a priceless royal heirloom. Atlantis will snap again if she knows you're wearing it."

Prussia laughs, "What she doesn't know won't hurt her~" Prussia sprints down the hallway with his other team members chasing him.

Italy screams, "Please, don't break it! Atlantis is very scary when she's mad." Italy tries his best to run after to Prussia. England and Germany easily run past him. Italy feels as though he's going through Germany's training again.

Germany, who is the closest to Prussia, yells, "Hand it over, Prussia."

Prussia ducks into the men's restroom taunting, "You can't harm royalty."

Germany and England storm into the men's restroom after Prussia. Italy pants as he makes it inside the restroom to see Germany and England banging on a restroom stall. It's the very same stall where Italy was attacked by the masked toilet.

Germany orders, "Prussia, get out of there right now or I'll confiscate all your beer." There's no answer from the other side of the stall. "Open this door or I'll-"

Prussia opens the stall door. "Hey West, I found a secret entrance." The Prussian walks through the gaping hole in the wall. On the floor is a crumpled sheet of wallpaper matching the wall. There's a noticeable lack of a toilet in the stall.

Germany, England, and Italy walk through the hole into the Woman's restroom. Prussia chuckles at Germany and England's reactions. They're both blushing in embarrassment.

England stutters, "A-Are we in the woman's loo?"

Italy innocently says, "It's not so bad in here England. It looks cleaner than the men's restroom."

Prussia snickers, "You've never been in here before? It sucks to be you." England looks about ready to strangle Prussia until Germany intervenes.

Germany places his hands on Prussia's and England's chests. "Stop fighting, you two."

Italy turns his attention from the arguing to look at the open stalls. He notices the lack of toilets in the stalls. "Ve, Germany. There are no scary toilets in here." Germany doesn't seem to hear him. It looks like he's too busy preventing a fight from breaking out.

"Hey, wanna buy some beer?"

Italy clings onto Germany. "Save me Germany." Germany struggles to remove him. "Get off."

Germany, with Italy still attached to him, gets to the outside of the stall with England behind them.

Prussia strides to the closed stall and opens it to find a talking toilet. Prussia quickly takes a step back and readies his fists. Italy lets go of Germany so he can pull out his white flag. He waves it screaming, "I surrender! Don't hurt me."

The toilet yells, "Hey, I'm trying to do my business here. If you're not buying anything, then scram. I don't want you to hurt my merchandise." Italy freaks out even worse. It's a talking toilet for crying out loud.

England asks, "You can talk?"

"Of course. I gotta know how to speak human if I want to sell stuff to them."

Germany pushes his way to the front. He interrogates the toilet. "Where are the other toilets and the hostages?"

"Hell if I know. They hate my guts just for mingling with humans. Are ya gonna buy something or not?" Italy smiles. "_Maybe I can buy some pasta from it. I'm hungry." _

Prussia shoves Germany to the side. "I order you to give me free beer."

Germany facepalms. "Prussia-"

Toilet mutters, "Fine, since you're my first human customer." The toilet opens its lid to reveal a mysterious yellow substance with questionable brown stuff in it.

Prussia scrunches his face. "Is that where you keep your inventory? That's fucking disgusting."

"Hey, I haven't gotten around to bottling the beer yet. The brown stuff is chocolate…I think." The toilet pauses. "Then again, someone did use me yesterday and the janitor didn't come to unclog me."

Italy's face turns green. In his opinion, the toilet is very nasty. There's no way he's buying pasta from it.

Germany angrily says, "You're trying to sell urine and crap to my brother."

"Nuh huh. I keep telling you, it's beer. I thought you Germans can tell the difference between beer and piss."

England shouts, "Enough already, let's leave. We're not making any progress here."

Italy couldn't agree anymore. Team Awesome Flying Pasta turn to leave when the toilet shouts, "Okay, I'll talk. There's a secret passageway in the stall next to me. If you find the toilets, can ya do me a favor and kick their asses? They owe me money."

England waves his hand. "Fine, we will." Germany, Prussia, and England go to the next stall while Italy is stopped by the toilet.

"Hey, kid. I'll give you a discount the next time I see you if you take care of those rip off artists."

Italy stutters, "O-Okay." Italy runs into the next stall screaming, "Don't leave me alone with the creepy salesman toilet!"

* * *

**Atlantis is a plot device for now. She'll be more involved in the fic later on. You guys will learn more about her at that point. **

**Fun fact: I got the inspiration to write this fic after watching HetaOni Youtube videos. I always had an interest in the toilet who sold items to the countries. Later on, I recalled the masked toilet that attacked a character a few times on Mucha Lucha. **

**I mused about Italy being attacked by the masked toilet. Than an idea struck me: why not make it into a fic? **

**In case you're wondering, the toilet salesman is a messed up version of the toilet that sells stuff to the Hetalians in HetaOni.**


	6. The Elevator Ride of Doom

**Team Koi Fish**

Japan, Russia, and America are standing outside the meeting room deciding what their next course of action is. Japan is nervous being alone with Russia and America. He doesn't believe he can handle them if their tensions become unbearable.

Japan asks, "America-san, where do you think we should start looking?"

America looks thoughtful for a moment before pointing to the elevator across from the meeting room. "Let's head for the basement! Obviously they're holding the hostages there." They're on the third floor of the three-story building. The quickest way to the basement is by using the elevator. Taking the stairs will consume their time, especially since it's on the other side of the building.

The elevator dings and Russia steps inside. The Russian smiles. "America has the right idea for once. Let's start our search there."

America storms into the elevator. "Don't diss my super hero ideas. You're just jealous your ideas suck monkey balls." Japan follows America with a sigh escaping him. He's regretting introducing him to the video game series Super Monkey Balls. The American's insults now include a monkey's private part.

America presses the basement floor button as the elevator door closes. The elevator music fails to drown out the awkward silence. Sensing the mood, Japan makes his move. "Does anyone have any idea on what the toilet' motive is?"

America declares, "I think they're protesting for better bathroom conditions. Oh, I know! They probably want human rights like animals."

Japan replies, "I agree."

"No, they must not want to be used by humans anymore-" disagrees Russia. Japan takes this into consideration. Russia has a valid point. The toilets must be tired of being urinated and pooped in and are taking a stand against it.

Russia's dark aura flares as he smiles coldly. "-and enslave mankind to do their bidding. Maybe they're interested in becoming one with Mother Russia, da? I can use good minions. They can overcome nation personifications."

America cries, "That's creepy! I don't want the world to be taken over by the commie bastard and an army of toilets."

Japan shudders. His imagination runs wild with possibilities. No one will see it coming. People are most vulnerable when they're in the bathroom with their pants down. Everyone will fear whether it's an average toilet or an enemy.

The elevator abruptly stops. Team Koi Fish looks at the button pad in confusion. Japan notices that the basement button's light is still on. They're still not on their floor. The lights flicker before turning off.

The elevator is in darkness. Japan cannot see any of the countries at all. America screams, "We're trapped in the elevator by ghosts."

Japan does his best to calm him down. "It's not an American horror movie, America-san." Japan recalls watching an American movie of a group of people trapped in an elevator with one of them being the devil for half of the movie. America watched the movie the night before the presentations.

Loud thumps tune out Japan. The noise stops before the shaft from above is removed. The small amount of light from above reveals the masked toilet leering at them. The mask changes its facial expression to a smirk.

The masked toilet leaps down, lid open and aiming for Russia. The Russian reacts quickly and smacks it with his pipe. He gives a smile with his eyes closed. "Do not worry, comrades. I handled it." The masked toilet growls as its thrown back through the shaft.

The light flickers back on. America makes it to the button pad and franticly pushes the open button. "Shit, it's not working."

Japan stays behind America. "I think you should try the emergency button."

"Good idea Japan." America pushes the emergency button rapidly.

Japan pulls on America's shoulders. "I don't think that's a good idea."

Russia shoves both of them to the side. "Let me try." Russia slams his pipe into the button pad, completely destroying it. Japan looks at him in shock. Their last hope of escape is lost. "It didn't work."

America, face red with furry, yells, "Of course it didn't work. Now we're stuck here."

Russia looks up to the open shaft. "We can escape from up there."

Japan's eyes widen. "The toilet didn't come back to attack us." Now that he thinks about it, they haven't heard from the masked toilet. It's too quiet. He doesn't like the silence above them.

Russia says, "It's not coming back. I hit it with my pipe, remember comrade Japan."

Japan hears a strange sound above them. He stands directly under the shaft to see the masked toilet cutting the wires holding the elevator with a knife in its lid.

America looks up too. "What are you looking-"

The wires snap. The elevator drops harshly. The countries scream in terror. America clings onto Russia, confessing all the things he's done to England in his life. "-I was the one who clugged the toilet with scones. And I shaved off his eyebrows once-"

The countries levitate in the air because of the speed they're falling. Japan's life flashes before his times before the elevator strangely stops. The door opens to reveal the basement.

America removes himself from Russia with disgust on his face. "I got commie germs." Russia darkly smiles, whispering his kolkolkols.

The moment they step out of the elevator, it crashes in a heap. Japan inwardly gulps. Had it been a moment later, they could've been squished. America wipes the sweat from his face. "Whew, that was a close one."

Japan takes in his surroundings. Disappointingly, the basement is empty except for piles of boxes. There are no toilets or hostages in sight. America runs around a pile of fallen boxes. "Come one, dudes. Let's find some clues. They had to have made a pit stop here before they left."

Russia heads on the opposite direction of America. "I'll look for clues over here, da. Go look for clues over there Japan." Russia gestures to another part of the basement. Japan nods. "Hai, Russia-san."

Japan looks through many boxes and finds nothing. He loses hope until he finds an interesting amount of screws near his feet. He bends down and gathers them into his hands. Everything except the heads of the screws is wet. By Japan's deduction, it has been recently used.

Japan, excited with a possible clue, says out loud, "I've found something."

"How could those damn toilets do this…..I'll take good care of….you'll have the best funeral…," mutters America. Japan hurries past a pyramid of boxes to see America on his knees holding someone. America's whimpers are making his shoulders shake.

Japan saddens over a possible loss of a country. "It's okay, America-san. I'm here-" He blinks to see if his eye sight is correct.

In America's hand is an open white box of what he assumes to be smashed donuts. America looks at Japan with tears running down his face. "The toilets are inhumane. They killed Krispy Kreme donuts without mercy. They never got the chance to be eaten."

Japan doesn't know how to react. He knows America loves hamburgers and McDonalds, but he's never shown such devotion to donuts. "It's only donuts."

America sobs, "It's glaze donuts. The best flavor of donuts."

Japan sighs. America is being unreasonable. It's going to take awhile to calm him down before he can present the possible clue he found.

**Krispy Kreme is a donut brand in America. What's your favorite brand of donuts?**

**Please leave a review. I would like to read what you guys think. :)**

**TotallyRandomAuthor: **** Atlantis' boss is so paranoid. XD He got that way after trying to pass an anti-democracy law to Altanteans…they didn't take it that well because they want democracy like America, too. He has several assassination attempts ever since. He has some reason to be paranoid but he takes it to extremes sometimes…. **


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